More confusing and annoying jargon

The Two Titanic Data Governance Mistakes
August 13, 2007
The end of Business Intelligence takeovers?
August 29, 2007
The Two Titanic Data Governance Mistakes
August 13, 2007
The end of Business Intelligence takeovers?
August 29, 2007
Show all

More confusing and annoying jargon

I already had my say about the term "users." Let me vent on other tech
terms have always bothered me:

Customer Relationship Management
– there is nothing in the CRM processes or software that promotes a
relationship or is favorable to the customer.
It’s all for the benefit of the marketer.

Call Centers are generally provided by low cost providers with voice menus
set up to make customers spend the longest time possible to get to someone not
qualified to help them.

I call up LL Bean and get a real live
person in a few rings who will take my order or help me if I have problems.
Contrast this to your typical support call to a PC vendor or software firm. You
start with a long series of voice menu prompts, have to make sure your customer
number is handy and then you endure an excruciating first round of support from
someone most likely reading through a script.

And then there is the campaign management software that is a way to up-sell
and cross-sell you products and services regardless of how well the existing
products or services are for you.

Single version of the truth – yes
I use that one too but… It’s only the single version of the truth if you ignore
the other twelve single versions of the truth that the vendor sold you before.

End-to-end solution – what does
that mean? Does it mean from the beginning to the end? Could it mean complete?
No, it’s not complete because that would imply something that everyone would
understand and the solution provider does not want to make that claim (and have
to prove it.)

End-to-end is just what a marketer loves because it sounds good but means
nothing. Every time I hear a vendor say they provide an end-to-end solution I
want to suggest they stick it up their end-to-end!

Connectivity, plug-in, service
all these things imply that all my data integrity, consistently and quality
problems will be solved by this new enabling software that magically connects
to this terrific data…right. I have a bridge I’d like to sell you.

There are other terms I hate, but that’s enough for now.

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